The Eclectic Writer

A Different View

We did a novel thing in my house last night.  We ate dinner in the dining room.

It was all my daughter's idea.  She set about placing candles on the table.  She put out the plates.  She brought out beverages and napkins. All in all she created the perfect place settings.

I went to plop myself where I always sit when I sit down to eat, in the middle, on the side, of the table.  However, there was a different plan for the evening and I was seated in what I figured out to be northeast placement, at the end, with a full view forward of the living room and foyer.

What I noticed by sitting down to eat in the dining room is just how little of my house I actually pay attention to on a daily basis.  From my vantage point, the house actually looked bigger. It dawned on me that the majority of my life is spent traversing a clear path from one room to another, mainly in the kitchen, backtrack to the family room, up the stairs to the computer, or down the hall to the bedrooms. Sometimes we'll hang in the living room for a short time (it offers wide open space for playing "keep the balloon in the air" or to set up a race track.) But I rarely, if ever, spend more than a minute in the dining room. It's usually to plop down supplies for an upcoming party on the fireplace, or to put a vase of flowers on the sideboard -- the only spot in the house the cat can't reach to eat the petals.

Even my son took in his surroundings with a new eye. "Hey," he said in amazement, "has that window always been there?"

We all sit around dreaming of bigger and better, when we actually have more than we know right under our noses.  The headlines are crying out about a dismal housing market for sellers, a boon for buyers. But for those who choose, or have to, stay put for a while in their present lives, maybe you should try sitting in a different room for dinner.  You may get a different perspective on just what space you already have, and what new, innovative things you can do with it to change your point-of-view without ever leaving home.

Losing Our Religion (To the Other Guy)

I'm not one to talk much about religion, politics, or the existence of alien life forms. 

OK, it's the politics I stay away from the most (yes, I do care, and, yes, I do vote, but I don't choose to argue my choices over dinner for the sake of argument.)  I pay close attention to the issues, I vote, I pray, and I keep a close eye on real estate prices in the south of France.

As for alien life forms, I put a lot of energy into dealing with the odd assortment of folks I meet on a daily basis. So I think "why not?" and wait for the day Captain Kirk, aka spokesperson Wiliam Shatner, offers to beam me up on a future space shuttle for a reasonably negotiated on line price.

But religion.  Well, there's a topic. And it was front and center on CNN.com today.  Survey: Americans Switching Faiths, Dropping Out talked about a recent study by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life that looked at the U.S. religious landscape.  Surprise! According to the Pew Forum director, Americans "not only change jobs, change where they live, and change spouses, but they change religions too."

OK, I'm not sure about you but when it comes to making decisions in my life, changing religion is in a slightly different ballpark than, let's say, starting a new job because someone offered me a significant increase and company car to jump ship or, in the other instance, moving to another location because of said job.  In either case, if I make a mistake it wouldn't shake my total inner being. Perhaps bum me out a while, but I'm definitely sure I would survive.  Maybe changing religions is a bit more in line with changing spouses which, at least for me, would be a really, really big deal.

But what bothered me about the survey, or at least this reporting of its findings, is that I found it hard to discern if I was reading an article about people falling away from the belief in a religion, or a marketing study about why certain people buy mint toothpaste versus regular.  The article, titled America's Unfaithful Faithful," was more about brand loyalty than faith in a higher power. The story actually talks about "churn" among religious groups, a term I'm more familiar with within the walls of corporate America.

The article goes on to cite "There's no group that is simply winning or simply losing" but does admit that "the report does not speculate on the implications of its data."  Pew's director does suggest in the article that "What it says is that this marketplace is highly competitive and that no one can sit on their laurels, because another group out there will make [its tenets] available for potential converts to try out."

Huh?  And thus lies, at least in part, some of the reasoning why I lean toward spirituality, but not religion, in my adult life.  Companies compete every day for my phone service. I taste test something new every time I go to the supermarket. My junk mail pile could be deemed a fire hazard some days. I don't need various groups competing for my religious loyalty. 

I guess it is my belief that a higher power -- whoever he or she may be -- seems not concerned about what "brand" of religion I suscribe to but instead being a spiritual guide that I can turn to, talk with, yell at, sob to. Whether I've reached a high point or plunged to a low point, or exist anywhere in between, it's my belief in myself and faith that something greater than myself is there to help guide me, that ulitmately sees me through. And somehow as long as life plugs along and I'm doing ok with it, it doesn't matter to me what the crowd is buying into.  I'm loyal where I stand.

L'art d'envoi de lettres d'amour

In English, "L'art d'envoi de lettres d'amour" means "The art of sending love letters."  For the elementary school set, that translates into the yearly exchange of valentine cards to celebrate this holiday of love and friendship.

Our trip to Wal-Mart had us deciding on which valentines to give our friends from the usual suspects.  My six-year-old pondered over his choices that included Spongebob or Spiderman.  The web shooter won easily. My daughter had to choose from among several different sports available, and finally decided on basketball as her theme. 

I remember growing up Valentine's cards were small, colorful cardboard squares with funny pictures, goofy sayings, and easy-to-fold creases with a cut-out where the corners easily slipped in. 

Today, valentines are somewhat more complicated.  The Spiderman cards came with a special tattoo that could be given to each special someone along with the goofy saying.

"But how will the tattoo stay in the card?" my son asked.

Good point.  A simple sticky heart was provided to close up the ends, leaving the sides wide open for anything to drop out of.  So we made an assembly line. My son would sign his name and that of the recipient, I would tape the tattoos into the card right under Spiderman's hand, and we both would share heart-sticking duties.

The basketball valentines were easier to put together but harder to play.  Each folded into a miniature basketball court, with several little balls die-cut into to cardboard that could be punched out and played. I could hear the other mothers now and they sucked up those little basketballs with their Hoovers.

In the old days Valentine's Day was a simple holiday.  Both my children came home today with their red and pink covered boxes filled to the brim with valentines from classmates -- along with candy and gum and other assorted knick knacks.  I couldn't tell if Halloween had changed seasons and changed its hue from orange to red.

But somehow, despite the commercialization of another holiday, I had my valentines. They didn't come in a box, nor did they need to be folded, stickered, taped, or cut.  They were my family. And they're the best bit of love to be delivered to me in my life.

Balancing Act

As I've mentioned before, I'll be speaking about balancing work and home at the 3rd Annual Women in Business Passing the Baton: Today, Tomorrow & Beyond. This year's event takes place on Saturday, March 29 from 8:30 to 5 p.m. at the Marriott Rocky Hill in Rocky Hill, CT.

Keynote speaker for the event will be Susan Bysiewicz, State of Connecticut, Secretary of State.  Other interactive workshops are planned about how to clear your desk and love your life (I've got to grab the notes from this one!), money management, leadership, and more.

For more information about how to register, click on file link below.

Download WIBIII.pdf

Maple Syrup On My Mind

My northern readers from the great state of Vermont have been having a wonderful time at my expense (and suffering through laughing pains, I am told) reading my recent posting about my maple syrup misadventures. The Vermont Shortbread Company has certainly made me a legend in my own mind, at least until spring thaw.

So of course, when I passed by the Vermont College of Fine Arts booth at the AWP (The Association of Writers and Writing Programs) conference this past week, I had to stop by and say hello.  The good folks were kind enough to let me take their picture -- and even gave me one of the cute, miniature bottles of pure Vermont maple syrup to take home with me...as long as I promised to pour it on pancakes, and not snow!

But have no fear, my Vermont friends. There was no snow anwhere in the city to even attempt another "candy on snow"  experiment. Just lots of rain, rain, and more rain. I needed my wellies more than snowshoes as a sloshed my way to the many workshops held during the conference and took in the enormous book fair. The buzz was that about 7,000 writers, editors, publishers, and educators descended upon NYC to attend this year's AWP.

I was thrilled to hear both Joyce Carol Oates and John Irving speak.  Both were engaging, insightful...and funny! I took in a lot of panel discussions about memoir writing and creative nonfiction. And, of course, learned about many of the reviews and publications where I'd like to land my work, shook a lot of hands, and made a lot of friends.

This was by far the biggest writers conference I've attended. But no matter what the size, here's some tips if you're heading to any conference for your trade or passion:

• Plan ahead.  Carefully review any information available on what is being offered and when. Highlight those workshops, lectures, or events that are absolute MUSTS to attend, and mark those that would be "nice to go to's."
• Pace yourself. A conference like AWP goes non-stop. Only you know your high energy times of day, and when you need to take a break.
• Network. If you don't have professional business cards, today's technology makes it possible to print your own. If you have a website or blog, spread the word. On line services, like vistaprint.com offer very reasonable prices for professional looking cards.
• Live with your notebook. For me, conferences like AWP spur a lot of creative thinking. I came away this time with four solid ideas for creative nonfiction and essay pieces and where I might publish them.
• Get advice from the experts. Check in with others who have attended a conference before to find out what they recommend is the best way to get the most out of the experience.