The Eclectic Writer

A Mother's Pot of Gold

April showers bring May flowers...except when it comes to those darned dandelions. They always seem to find a way to poke their heads out of the earth at the first sign of beautiful weather, and stubbornly stake their claim in the soil I'd rather see blanketed with green lawn.

But despite their reputation as pesty weeds and unwelcome visitors to us grown up folks,  somehow the stubborn, persistent dandelion is a favorite among the children. And what mother does not covet the times her young children bring her a fistful of the yellow flowerheads, bursting as brightly as the sun on a summer's day?

My first dandelion bouquet of the season was given to me this weekend as we enjoyed unseasonably warm temperatures on the east coast. My seven-year-old son bound across the front lawn, racing toward me with the biggest grin on his face, hands holding onto his treasure for dear life.

"Here, mommy, to the most beautiful woman in the whole world." (Yes, he really says these things, although I know there will come a day...")

I took the flowers (?) and thanked him profusely.

"I know just where I'm going to put these," I told him.

We marched inside and I took out the special "mommy's pot" that was given to me by my colleague, Liz, when I had my first child.  As she explained, the mommy pot -- about the size of my thumb -- was for all those bunches of wild flowers my children would proudly bring to me over the years. In truth, the mommy pot has probably been the most used item I ever received as a baby gift. It's tiny cavity has been filled countless times with two tablespoon of water and lots of stems.

We put the bright yellow display on the kitchen windowsill. When I look at it, this simple little mommy pot, I always smile as I think of old friends, growing up children, and the new memories that are made with every change of the season.

A Message to Miley Cyrus

The teen celebrity buzz this week goes to....Miley Cyrus.  No surprises here.  As we've read ad nauseum in the media Miley is feeling a bit embarrassed by some photos of her in Vanity Fair this week.  And like Ashley Tisdale's nose job, I'm not quite sure how I'm feeling about this.

Like most moms protecting their children from a world gone mad on teen celebrity shenanigans, I've been holding out hope that Miley would be our "messiah."  Level-headed, with parents who seem to be paying attention, I want to believe Miley could be the one who avoids the trappings of the 21st century young and famous, that she can come through the mania a somewhat normal, smart, together girl.

So when I read the buzz about "the pictures," I had to check them out. OK, one's a bit provocative.  But this is Vanity Fair, for goodness sake.  And Annie Liebowitz was in charge of the camera.  If it weren't for the world's obsession with Lindsay, Brittany, Jaime Lynn, Vanessa, and Ashley, I'm not sure this would have made such a splash. Ten years ago we probably wouldn't have even known about it unless we subscribed to Vanity Fair.

Let's put it this way.  I'd rather come across Miley in these photos in Vanity Fair than, say, posted on a website in a negligee. Or hear about a videotape of her after dark exploits available for $29.99.  Or see her on television, while sitting with my family,  looking wasted in the back seat of a car on Entertainment Tonight.

So here's my message to Miley:

Miley, the photos are fine; you made a business decision to take the pictures and, given the publication, should have known what you were getting into.  So you did it.  Now be proud of the pics. But don't give into the media by proclaiming embarrassment. These pictures aren't going to ruin my children's futures.  They're not going to set a bad example for them.  They've seen much worse on the front page of the newspaper or in magazines stored in our bathroom rack. Quite frankly, they don't read Vanity Fair anyway. And we don't subscribe.

Just please, PLEASE avoid the drugs, alcohol, clubbing, teen pregnancies, and everything else that causes me a lot more trouble when I have to explain them to my kids. We know you're young and will make some mistakes.  Like all of us, you'll trip here and there along the way as you make your way to adulthood.  Whether or not you stay in the public eye, keep your wits about you. Keep it all in perspective. And don't let us down. We're counting on you.

Miley, we still believe. Please don't let us down.

Happy Earth Day!

The big day is finally here!  Earth Day 2008.  Events have been taking place all weekend.  People are paying extra special attention to our planet, at least for one day. 

Close to home, on the way to the bus stop today, I spotted an empty beer can tossed in our woods (sigh.)

Although there wasn't a bombardment of ideas for the First Ever Eclectic Writer Early Earth Day Reader Challenge, we did receive a few great responses from some of our dedicated readers and blog friends. For example, Colleen shared this thought:

"I like your idea of putting trash cans out at neighborhood bus stops and other places where groups of people congregate. Of course, the trash collection companies would need to cooperate with that, but I don't think it would be too difficult to add a few more stops to their route. Innsbruck, Austria, had NO problem with garbage on their streets or in the woods. I think part of that was because they stressed recycling so much. (you were fined if you didn't put your trash in the right container) But also, they had wastebaskets set up at every bus stop, on corners and also attached to the poles of streetsigns.

I said it before, but I'm going to say it again because I REALLY like this idea: use your own shopping basket or canvas bags when shopping, instead of taking the plastic or paper bags from stores. Think of how much that would save!"

Another dear blog friend and reader from across the pond, Louise, had this to say:

"Good for you, Anne! There is a stretch of road near where I live in the UK with a bit of woodland that regularly has food wrappers and drink cartons along the side of the road and it is where parents wait in cars to pick up their kids from the local school - wrong at so many levels!

Raising awareness is key - for example we have a new recycling policy for the refuse collection which nobody really liked when it was introduced - our bins are emptied only once every two weeks. However, I have been surprised just how much of my refuse now goes into the new recycling bin. Just having to think about separating recyclable from non-recyclable waste has made me much more conscious of packaging and how much stuff I personally throw away."

My mother shared these ideas by email:

"When using the car. please take a bag [any kind] to have in the car should you stop for coffee. food. or anything that you plan to eat on the GO! Then, when you finish, you could put it back into the mentioned bag instead of throwing it out the window and cluttering the neighborhood you are driving through!"

I also liked another idea she shared with me by phone. She makes it a habit to walk around her front yard once a week to collect any litter that's been tossed.  Doing it weekly keeps the property clean and gives her a chance to get outside and get some exercise!

Here's a few more ideas from yours truly:

• Hang a bag in the back seat of the car between the kids' seats so they can automatically toss their happy meal trash in the garbage. This will help prevent stray straw papers and napkins from flying out of the car and onto the street as they get in and out of the car.
• Incorporate "green chores" into your children's regular helping duties. For example, have them take responsibility for emptying the trash from the car or separating out their recyclables when they finish with a can or plastic bottle. Give "eco" points for jobs well-done that can be saved up for a special treat or outing.

Most importantly, set an example through your actions and behaviors EVERY DAY, not just on Earth Day. Putting trash in the right place and picking up after ourselves is simply civilized behavior that demonstrates respect to all living creatures.  Tossing trash out the window of the car, dropping garbage on the sidewalk instead of carrying it home or placing it in a trash bin, or refusing to recycle is just sheer laziness and slovenly behavior. There is no excuse for it and there should be no tolerance for it.

Instead of just participating in Earth Day, use it as a starting point to make your year-long commitment to keeping trash off the streets and out of the woods and helping our neighborhoods stay clean.

This Is Your Last Chance to Take the Challenge!

This is the final weekend before Earth Day -- and your final chance to participate in The Eclectic Writer's Early Earth Day Reader Challenge.

Just click on  comment at the bottom of this posting and share with us an idea or two (or three) that answers this question:

What can we do throughout the year to keep trash off the streets, out of the woods, and in the garbage cans?

All responses will be posted on this blog Tuesday, April 22, in honor of Earth Day.

So come on.....get your ideas posted here....help get trash off the ground and in the can!!!

• Teachers -- collect ideas from your students and post here!
• Green supporters -- don't sit on the sidelines.  Share your wisdom and get everyone to help!
• Friends, Romans, Countrypeople....lend me your thoughts on stomping out trash!
• My dearest friends and family members who I know read this blog all the time and "comment" to me in person.....POST YOUR GREAT IDEAS HERE SO I CAN SHARE THEM!

LET'S TRY FOR 20 IDEAS BY TUESDAY!!!! COME ON, EVERYONE!  HELP SAVE THE EARTH! (AT LEAST KEEP IT CLEANER!)

Tribute to Twix

It is with deep sadness that I must share with readers that Twix, the hermit crab, passed away yesterday. Twix and her roommate, Mo, were the class pets mentioned in my March 2nd posting, Unexpected Visitors. These little critters certainly grabbed the hearts of readers, as they did mine and my family's.

Twix was buried by her special friends, the 4th grade students whose classroom she called home, outside in the corner of the daffodil garden at school.  We are uncertain as to what caused Twix' passing. Some guesses were that she may have been old, or that she wasn't well as she didn't move around as much as Mo.

Whatever the cause, it can be assumed that during Twix' final months she lived a good life among friends who admired her. She in turn taught all of us more than we ever knew about hermit crabs.

A new friend will be joining Mo in the near future.  In the meantime, please take a moment to remember Twix and the good hermit crab she was.

Pomp and Circum-Humbug

My family has talked me into participating in my graduation commencement ceremony next month.

Personally I think forty-five is way too old to don the cap and gown.  Besides, my back hurts and walking  onto that stage can't be all that good for my sciatica.  The ceremony itself won't start until 7; how can I expect my kids to sit through the whole thing and not be exhausted the next day? And not to be technical, but I actually graduated in January so isn't this whole grad school thing past history?

I never did get into graduation ceremonies -- not from junior high, high school, or college.  Oh, I went to them as I dutifully should.  I smiled, posed for the cameras, definitely hit the party circuit afterwards. Got pictures to prove it. 

But although there is a side of me that covets recognition for things I do well, there's another side of me that prefers celebrating personal accomplishments with family and friends and not a fieldhouse full of intimate strangers. I don't know where this adversity to milestone events like graduations comes from. Maybe it's because you don't do anything but show up and everyone stares at you for a couple of hours. Maybe if I had to make a speech or a presentation, it would be a lot easier.

So I agree to go.  Everyone tells me I should go, I've earned this recognition.  They are probably right.  Some other colleagues will be there, too -- Ron, driving up from the shoreline. Carmen, who is flying all the way up from sunny Puerto Rico.  Kir won't make it; she's staying in the midwest to watch her daughter perform the lead in a play. I've got to check in with Colleen; I can't remember if she opted out or not.

I find out today that I can't fax in my order for "Academic Regalia" as they officially call the cap and gown. I have to get into my car and drive an hour to campus and an hour back, sciatica flaring up, grumbling all the way.  I drop off my check and the women tries to sell me a commemorative frame.

"Do you have children? If you have children, you owe it to them to get a frame and display your diploma proudly!" she tells me.

Although I'm envious of her sales technique, I politely decline. My children are already proud of me. I've juggled full-time parenthood, a full-time professional job, and full-time graduate studies and received my degree. I gave it my all and garnered a 3.97 G.P.A.  It wasn't easy for any of us. But they learned through the process a valuable lesson about what it means to have a goal, to want to achieve something so important to you just because it is.  To have a passion that needs to be tended to, like roses in a garden. 

"I'll pick one up at Target," I say.

I know a frame would mean nothing to them. But all of a sudden I realize that the cap and gown will mean something, as will seeing their mother accept her graduate degree, at forty-five years of age, on stage, in that big fieldhouse. I realize in an instant that it will mean more to them than I ever imagined.