My writing and M.F.A. colleague, Aaliyah Miller, recently wrote a wonderful post on her blog, coming clean about her "addiction to social networking." Sadly, I'm working through my own issues, especially when it comes to Facebook. Okay, I admit it. "Issues" might be an understatement. But I've got a sneaking suspicion that these 25 warning signs (the quantity is a warning in itself!) might be worth paying attention to if you find yourself suddenly updating your profile to proudly proclaim that "nothing comes between you and your Facebook":
1. You obsess more about your Facebook photo than the picture you choose for your family's holiday card.
2. At the end of a long day, you find yourself reaching for your laptop instead of a glass of chardonnay.
3. You casually shield the computer screen so your family can't see that you're on Facebook again.
4. You've virtually reconnected with more high school classmates since joining Facebook than you did attending your last reunion.
5. You begin "stalking" people you haven't thought about in over thirty years.
6. Every list you make - to dos, party guests, exercise reps, yoga breaths - has to number 25.
7. You use digital smiley faces more than proper punctuation :) .
8. You create an excel spreadsheet to track the number of Facebook friends you've accumulated.
9. You update your status more often than you eat a balanced meal.
10. You check for Facebook updates more often than you check your email.
11. You go to see movies just so you can add them to your favorites list.
12. You cancel your therapy session after reading other people's 25 things lists because maybe your life isn't as screwed up as you thought it was.
13.You get depressed if someone ignores your request to become a friend...and feel guilty if you don't return a virtual hug.
14. Since joining Facebook, you know more about the people you see every day than you did before you came on board.
15. Your self-worth is measured by your number of Facebook friends.
16. You post an update before you drink your first cup of coffee in the morning.
17. You skip Jon Stewart so you can virtually connect with your Facebook friends.
18. You incessantly tell people how much you hate Facebook and then feel compelled to comment about it on your Facebook page.
19. You spend hours scouring through your Facebook friends' "friends" photos to see who you know and what everyone looks like now versus 7th grade.
20. Despite your Catholic upbringing, you learn that it's Ash Wednesday only after reading it on Facebook.
21. You find yourself commenting on things like celebrities and reality shows, even though you've only watched about a week's worth of television in the last year.
22. You start contemplating plastic surgery because if Jennifer Aniston can look that good at 40 then...
23. You get mad when people don't update their Facebook status in more than a day.
24. You find yourself thinking as deeply about Facebook comments as you did existentialism during your college years.
25. You're unable to come up with a 25th thing because you haven't updated your Facebook status in over 12 hours. Gotta go!