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Give the Gift that Inspires...without lines, crowds or parking woes! Press Pause Moments book Just 3 for $30 ($24 savings!) |
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One year my husband and I participated in Black Friday just to see what all the fuss was about. Once was enough! Even though I got to write a great essay from the experience we decided to leave the holiday weekend for catching up and do our gift shopping online or during off-peak hours!
Whether you're into the thrill of shoulder-to-shoulder shopping at the malls or, like me, counting on smaller businesses and online opportunities to purchase gifts, please consider giving the gift of reading.
Books make wonderful presents, especially those that inspire, motivate and generally touch a person's life. Those who have read Press Pause Moments: Essays about Life Transitions by Women Writers have shared with me their experiences, their thoughts, and their reflections upon reading the collection. I am moved by how the voices of these 36 women writers have helped people move forward on their own journeys. I could not have imagined the book would have inspired so much for so many.
So to help you get your holiday shopping done safely and without the crowds, I am offering a special that you can take advantage of with a click of a button.
Purchase 3 Books for $30!
That is $10 per book - signed by me - and you save $24 on the retail price of purchasing three books! You must use button below to purchase the special.
 Just need one or two books? You can still order individual copies from the book's website for just $15 (regular retail $17.95).
For either deal, the shipping is on me - my holiday gift to you!
Remember, the 3 for $30 promotion is good through Monday November 28th at 11:59 pm.
Wishing you a holiday weekend with few crowds and lots of togetherness - with family, friends and loved ones.
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A Meditation on Gratitude
by Carol Dwyer
Thanksgiving reminds us to give thanks for our blessings. If our health is reasonably good, if we have some loving relationships, and if we are fortunate enough to be able to provide a comfortable life for ourselves and our families, it’s not too hard to express our gratitude. But being grateful is so much more than stopping for a moment to give thanks for what we have attained and what we have accumulated. Gratefulness is a state of mind and a way of life.
It has taken me a long time to see this, and over time it has changed my life. What I know now is that the more often I feel grateful, the more reasons I find to be grateful.
I am grateful for my life – the breath that moves in and out of my lungs, the blood that flows through my veins and heart, and the brain that allows me to think and feel.
I am grateful that a beautiful soul came into the world through me and gave me the gift of motherhood and its lessons in loving.
I am grateful for all of the ordinary everyday things that are so easy to take for granted. A hot shower on a cold morning. A great cup of coffee. A walk at night under a shimmering moon. Laughter. Old friends. New friends. The warm sun on my face. Chocolate. Jazz. A smile from a stranger. Ice cream. Old movies. Snow falling softly. When you pay attention to the little things, the opportunities for gratitude are endless.
But not all of life is beautiful, and I am no Pollyanna. Life is often painful. Bad things happen and always will. It’s how we respond and what we learn from the difficult events of life that help us grow and become our true selves.
I have had my share of difficult life experiences: divorce, job loss, the death of loved ones, financial struggles. At the time they did not feel like blessings.
However, through divorce I learned that I am a strong, capable and independent woman. I am grateful for that lesson.
When my dad died I felt a profound sense of loss. Over time I have become grateful for the gifts he gave me, and grateful that his suffering ended.
When I lost a great job due to corporate cutbacks, I was devastated. But it made me question what I wanted and choose a better path for myself. I am grateful for the courage and for the adventure.
People I love have dealt with the cancer and its painful treatments. I am grateful for the lessons in compassion that came with being a supportive friend.
It’s no coincidence that the words “grateful” and “graceful” are so close. A prayer of gratitude brings grace. Grace calms the soul. And a calm soul is open to the beauty of the world and the knowledge that all of our experiences are necessary. Gratitude leads to grace which in turn leads to gratitude which then leads to grace. And so it goes.
Carol Dwyer is a freelance writer/editor who specializes in clear, concise copy and is passionate about spiritual growth. Carol helped edit and proofread Press Pause Moments: Essays about Life Transitions by Women Writers.
A THANKSGIVING LETTER TO MY HUSBAND
by Elynne Chaplik-Aleskow
My dearest Richard Noel,
It is soon Thanksgiving and your birthday. What has your life been so far?
Your youth was filled with the arts and culture and people and music that dreams are made of. You took it all in and appreciated all the talent that surrounded you. As their only child, you were the dividend to your father and mother. You deeply loved and valued their abilities and accomplishments. You still talk about your mother’s cooking as the ultimate standard. In your mind, you still hear her playing the piano and remember her concert repertoire. When you speak of Papa, your eyes light up and smile. He was a great role model for you and you two were dear buddies. Your breakfasts and shared activities stay with you in memory even today. Your parents and your youth remain great gifts of your life.
Your career years were filled with jobs you loved. You are a gifted PR man- the best I have ever seen. Your television work resulted from you working your way up the organization. You were never afraid to try. You are still that way today and I admire that quality so.
You worked so hard to build your own Insurance practice. You studied and took those unbelievable exams. I am prouder of you than I can ever express.
Your life took many routes and turns, some very difficult and painful but you learned from everything you did. You made your life lessons count.
Your travels were fabulous. Your gift of being bi-lingual in Russian was and is outstanding. Your love of classical music is a life’s passion. You are a gifted photographer. Through your camera, your eye has recorded the unforgettable travels we have shared together.
You are a rare friend who is loyal. You are a man of action who will help others by deed . I have seen you do this time and time again. You give of yourself and your time without being asked. You are passionate when you believe in someone or a cause.
On July 19, 1987, at the age of 49, you focused your beautiful eyes on a 42-year-old woman who was to become your wife, your best friend, the love of your life. And for her you became her husband, her best friend, the greatest love of her life. You are a man who has made me know that dreams can come true because you are made of the qualities I most admire and believe in. You see, my darling, I believe in you. I have entrusted you with my heart which is strong but fragile. You are my confidant, my partner, my lover, my friend.
Your quiet and thoughtful wisdom is unique. You are an original.
I celebrate your birth and your life. Thank you for your love. How perfect that your birthday is at Thanksgiving. May you continue your life’s journey with curiosity, “bon vivant” style and your brand of originality. I will always be at your side.
Timeless love,
Elynne
Elynne Chaplik-Aleskow is a Pushcart Prize nominated author. Two of her essays are featured in Press Pause Moments: Essays about Life Transitions by Women Writers. Visit her website a http://LookAroundMe.blogspot.com
Pressing Pause during the Retirement Years
by Jean Donnelly
In my 74 years there are not too many times I have had the luxury of pressing pause to give thanks. Raising four kids, working while putting my husband through college and moving to six different cities to follow my husband’s career did not given me much time. In 2003 I retired from a stressful career as Executive Assistant to a CEO of a large business. In my years working with him, I had little time to enjoy or press pause, not that I cared - I loved my career! Now, having been retired for eight years, I am finally able to press pause.
When I left my position, I began to travel. My first trip was to visit my daughter in Denver. Never having been there, I embraced the change of scenery: snow one minute and 70 degree temperatures the next. Over the past eight years, I have had the opportunity to press pause often and, believe me, it is good for the soul. Our many trips have afforded me the luxury of not having to worry about shopping for groceries, cooking dinner, cleaning the house or all the other mundane chores one does because she is the “wife” and “mother.” I have had so many wonderful experiences, touring Egypt, many of the Greek Islands, Italy, France and Ireland.
I then went back to Hungary to my family’s roots. My grandmother and grandfather came over “on the boat” and settled in Fairfield, Connecticut. I grew up in an ethnic household, with Hungarian food and all the traditions. It gave me a secure childhood, with many family members around and children always an important part of social life.
Every place I visited gave me a chance to press pause – a chance to experience other cultures, immerse myself into another lifestyle, experience different foods, customs and the way people live. I froze one Christmas in Vienna, and now know why they wear fur coats; I got lost in Venice and realized I could not hail a cab to take me to my hotel; I walked with the sheep in emerald green Ireland; and, most of all, as I experienced the beauty of landing at JFK in New York City, I realized that I was in the United States of America and how lucky I am to call this country home. I give thanks as I press pause for all these blessings that I have been given. I am one lucky old lady!
Jean Donnelly retired from the corporate world in 2003 and has been traveling the world ever since. She has been promising Anne Witkavitch that she would share her words with the world for a very long time now. We are thankful she did.
Hi, I’m Yoko Ono, Nice to Meet You
by Gizelle AlexanderI used to have a nice cushy job that I took for granted. I had three closetfuls of designer clothing, I was attending film and movie premiers, supporting at least ten charities, vacationing every three months, and I was dating musicians and filmmakers and hobnobbing with models. And like every other New Yorker that I knew, I believed that I deserved all that I had, I wasn’t impressed with most people or things I encountered, and I was living the life everyone else wanted. At a party a lady came up to me once. “Hi, my name is Yoko Ono,” she said as she shook my hand, “Nice to meet you.”
I worked hard for that position on Park Avenue. I killed myself by proving that I was the fastest learner, the smartest clerk, the most humanly possible devoted worker at every position I was in. I moved from job to job every ten to eighteen months accumulating whatever knowledge and experience that I could glean. I was climbing fast. But somewhere along the line when I was standing still long enough, I became complacent.
I was tired, uninspired, and I didn’t like the two women I was working with in my department. But more importantly, I wasn’t doing what I really wanted to be doing - using my skills as a leader, creative thinker and healer. Instead, I was in the Ivory Tower rolling my eyes. Without challenge I grew bored. Without change I had fermented.
Fast forward six years. I don’t live in New York City anymore. I live in New England now across town from my mother who, when I was living my spoiled life, I took for granted as well.
In these past years I’ve come up with a working formula for living the good life: imagination, challenge and gratitude. I Imagine that I’m never “done,” that there is more work to do. We are a living miracles but I’m convinced that the moment we stop trying to be something more than we are right now, we die. My second belief is that while transitioning from one image to another, while we are becoming, we need to hang on to the gratitude. We need to sustain ourselves by knowing that it could all be taken away the moment we stop growing, stop being thankful, cease to believe we don’t have to work for it anymore.
Today I am reinventing myself. I live on a very modest income. I connect with my passions by working with those who use their talents to make their communities and the world a better place. I have friends through many social networks both online and off. I go out of my way to meet many. These individuals inspire me. They teach me. They are much more to me than words on a page. They’re innovators, thought-leaders and people who refuse to live as if they deserve what they have or get. I know now that I got dropped from my “Ivory Tower” because I forgot to say thank you one too many times. I hope that I’ll never forget that lesson.
Gizelle Alexander is a life coach and writing consultant. Visit her website at http://www.GizelleAlexander.com
There is a ritual I perform every year without fail. As summer ends I spend time reflecting on the memories that were made. I also fast forward and remember that, in what will again seem like a blink of the eye, the holidays would again be upon us.
I know each year this will happen but each year I can't help but pause the week before Thanksgiving and think, "Here we are...How did this happen?" Of course, snow in October didn't help make the transition any easier for us here in New England.
But though change sometimes comes at us fast, transitions are often opportunities to pause and reflect. I always like that the first holiday we celebrate this time of year is Thanksgiving. For me, taking time to think about what I'm thankful for and to acknowledge my gratitude for everything good during the past year is meditative, healing and inspiring. Thanksgiving is like a speed bump placed in my path as I zoom toward year end; it slows me down just enough so I don't crash and burn before finishing out the year.
One thing I am thankful for is that I have been able to share my voice, through my writing and my speaking, with the world. I am also thankful that I've realized my purpose is to also help raise the voices of other writers so they can be heard. We all have important things to say but in this world that is filled with all sorts of white noise, we must help each other up to the stage and listen.
As we approach Thanksgiving Day, I have invited guest bloggers to share their thoughts on the theme, "Pressing Pause to Give Thanks." Each I am sure will offer a different reflection of what those words mean to them but I am also sure if you read, listen and reflect there will be something to take away.
Thank you for reading.
Although the official month of awareness ended October 31st, here in the northeast we were surprised by an autumn nor'easter that managed to shut down power for hundreds of thousands of utility customers for most of the week. My family was among them! While many still remain without power, I am happy to report we are back with lights on and heat in the house.
So today I am pleased to feature the final guest blogger in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Sandra Freeman returns to share her hints for ways to manage through a breast cancer diagnosis. Quite frankly these tips work for any serious diagnosis you or a loved one my experience.
We read and talk a lot about awareness and self-exams. But, really, what does one do when they receive a diagnosis? Sandra's helpful hints are based on her experience, but having gone through this personally I thought many of her points were spot on. I hope you or a loved on never need to use these; however, if you do know that they will be archived on this blog for future reference.
Breast cancer awareness does not end on a calendar date. Make a commitment to make every day one that you are aware of your body and mind, health and wellness, and take proactive steps - even if they are small ones - to improve your well being and live a long, healthy life.
HELPFUL HINTS by Sandra Freeman
Here are some helpful hints if you receive a diagnosis of breast cancer.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Bring a list of any and all concerns to your doctor, and insist on getting the answers you need. Detailed information on cancer development, treatment, side effects, new research, relieving cancer pain, and nutritional well-being is also available online.
At least once a day, say, “Who cares?” and let go of old, rigid ways of living. In other words, “don’t sweat the small stuff.” If the house isn’t in tip-top shape, say, “Who cares?” If you forgot to floss your teeth, just let it go.
Right after diagnosis, it helps to confide in someone who can handle and support your emotions. Find someone with whom you feel completely safe – whether a partner, friend, sibling, spiritual leader or counselor – and allow yourself to let it all out.
Initiate a hug whenever you feel the need for comfort. People will respond warmly, and you’ll feel better too.
Every religion offers comfort to help endure life’s trials. You may find strength by joining a prayer group at your synagogue or church or by reading inspirational books and/or scripture. You can also find favorite prayers and say them often.
There will come a day when your diagnosis is not the first thing on your mind when you wake up in the morning. But for the first few months, you may find yourself dwelling on the events of diagnosis, surgery or treatment. This is perfectly normal.
If you find yourself grieving as though you have lost your best friend, you’re not alone. Crying is often the result of shock, and many women find it can help with emotional healing. But if crying is not your way of handling stress, that’s okay too. Everyone is different.
Naps are immensely therapeutic, especially if you’re undergoing radiation or chemotherapy. Even twenty minutes can make a big difference in your mood and overall sense of well-being.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed – by work duties, volunteer activities, household tasks, social commitments – it’s time to make some changes. Make a to-do list every day and decide which tasks can be postponed or which can be delegated to someone else. And remember, it’s okay to say no.
If you have small children and many commitments, enlist a friend or relative to help. You’ll find that people are eager to lend a hand. When they ask how they can help, have some specifics in mind, such as “Could you watch Johnny on Friday afternoon when I go to the doctor’s office?” or “Could you pick up some groceries for me?”
Along with drawing emotional support from family and friends, local breast cancer support groups can help considerably. One-on-one support is also available from breast cancer survivors through patient networks, hospital referrals and organizations like the American Cancer Society.
We often equate being nice to ourselves with buying things, but there are many ways to treat yourself without spending money, for example, check-out books from the library, rent a funny movie, feed ducks at the lake, ask your sweetie for a massage, or take a hot bath. And if you need to sleep ten hours a night, give yourself the permission to do it.
You may forget a dentist’s appointment or neglect to send Aunt Martha a birthday card. You may not feel like returning phone calls. It’s okay. People will understand.
No one knows what causes breast cancer. Don’t try to figure out why this happened to you. There are no answers, and it’s not your fault.
Just because your body may have changed, it doesn’t mean your sex life has to change too. Research shows that most women with early stage breast cancer are well-adjusted emotionally and can achieve sexual satisfaction just one year after surgery. While every relationship is different, being open and honest with your partner can help you regain your pre-cancer quality of life.
Look for books, journals, blogs or websites that can explain how to change your thought patterns, identify negative thoughts and replace them with constructive or realistic ones.
Accepting and learning to love yourself are critical to moving past your cancer experience. Many books and blogs can provide insight on how to feel whole again, and renew your hopes and plans for the future.
There are millions of women who are making this journey with you and millions of women who are already survivors. Today, you are a survivor, too.
I am honored to be a guest blogger on MarieShriver.com today! My post is about practicing patience in order to meet your goals - I share my story and tips from what I've learned!
Here's how it begins:
“I am learning the art of patience…it has taken me 49 years to figure out that things don’t always happen on the one year plan.”
I am amazed at how a simple reflection, realized only in the past couple of weeks but emerging in my consciousness over the past few years, has become one of the most significant aha moments of my life. The power of patience, I’ve come to understand, is part of transition, a significant by-product of what we do to transform our lives and ourselves when we know we are on the threshold of change.
This is quite a realization for someone who’s been a less-than-patient type-A since birth.
To read the rest, go to MariaShriver.com by clicking here! And after you've read the post, feel free to leave a comment on the website! I would love to read your thoughts.
Thanks for reading!
I will be at the Clark Memorial Library in Bethany, Connecticut Tuesday, October 25 at 7 pm and will be discussing "Women & Transition" as well as reading select essays from Press Pause Moments: Essays about Life Transitions by Women Writers. The readings for this event will be those related to breast cancer as we come to the end of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
Women go through many transitions in their lives, sometimes the result of a welcome change, occassionally a necessity due to unexpected circumstances, but always an opportunity to move forward, learn more about self and come out the other side stronger and more confident. Transition is moving from point A to point B - it is the process of change. Where as often people in general, and particularly women, fear change as necessitating loss or leaving something behind, transition is about consciously choosing what we take with us, what we leave behind and what we gain in the process.
I will have copies of the book available for purchase and am more than willing to sign a copy for you or as a gift for someone else. If you already have a copy unsigned please bring it along! I'll have my pen with me.
I hope to see you at the Clark Memorial Library, Amity Road, Bethany, Connecticut Tuesday, October 25 at 7 pm.
Press Pause Moments Contributing Writer, Diana Raab, has a wonderful blog in the Huffington Post titled, "Thank You, Cancer." While we've spent the whole month of October reminding women to maintain breast health through self-exam, annual mammograms and overall health and wellness, we've also shared here stories of women who have survived breast cancer and breast disease.
Diana's reflections are written a decade after her initial diagnosis. I hope you enjoy reading this inspiring passage.
