Although the official month of awareness ended October 31st, here in the northeast we were surprised by an autumn nor'easter that managed to shut down power for hundreds of thousands of utility customers for most of the week. My family was among them! While many still remain without power, I am happy to report we are back with lights on and heat in the house.
So today I am pleased to feature the final guest blogger in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Sandra Freeman returns to share her hints for ways to manage through a breast cancer diagnosis. Quite frankly these tips work for any serious diagnosis you or a loved one my experience.
We read and talk a lot about awareness and self-exams. But, really, what does one do when they receive a diagnosis? Sandra's helpful hints are based on her experience, but having gone through this personally I thought many of her points were spot on. I hope you or a loved on never need to use these; however, if you do know that they will be archived on this blog for future reference.
Breast cancer awareness does not end on a calendar date. Make a commitment to make every day one that you are aware of your body and mind, health and wellness, and take proactive steps - even if they are small ones - to improve your well being and live a long, healthy life.
HELPFUL HINTS by Sandra Freeman
Here are some helpful hints if you receive a diagnosis of breast cancer.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Bring a list of any and all concerns to your doctor, and insist on getting the answers you need. Detailed information on cancer development, treatment, side effects, new research, relieving cancer pain, and nutritional well-being is also available online.
At least once a day, say, “Who cares?” and let go of old, rigid ways of living. In other words, “don’t sweat the small stuff.” If the house isn’t in tip-top shape, say, “Who cares?” If you forgot to floss your teeth, just let it go.
Right after diagnosis, it helps to confide in someone who can handle and support your emotions. Find someone with whom you feel completely safe – whether a partner, friend, sibling, spiritual leader or counselor – and allow yourself to let it all out.
Initiate a hug whenever you feel the need for comfort. People will respond warmly, and you’ll feel better too.
Every religion offers comfort to help endure life’s trials. You may find strength by joining a prayer group at your synagogue or church or by reading inspirational books and/or scripture. You can also find favorite prayers and say them often.
There will come a day when your diagnosis is not the first thing on your mind when you wake up in the morning. But for the first few months, you may find yourself dwelling on the events of diagnosis, surgery or treatment. This is perfectly normal.
If you find yourself grieving as though you have lost your best friend, you’re not alone. Crying is often the result of shock, and many women find it can help with emotional healing. But if crying is not your way of handling stress, that’s okay too. Everyone is different.
Naps are immensely therapeutic, especially if you’re undergoing radiation or chemotherapy. Even twenty minutes can make a big difference in your mood and overall sense of well-being.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed – by work duties, volunteer activities, household tasks, social commitments – it’s time to make some changes. Make a to-do list every day and decide which tasks can be postponed or which can be delegated to someone else. And remember, it’s okay to say no.
If you have small children and many commitments, enlist a friend or relative to help. You’ll find that people are eager to lend a hand. When they ask how they can help, have some specifics in mind, such as “Could you watch Johnny on Friday afternoon when I go to the doctor’s office?” or “Could you pick up some groceries for me?”
Along with drawing emotional support from family and friends, local breast cancer support groups can help considerably. One-on-one support is also available from breast cancer survivors through patient networks, hospital referrals and organizations like the American Cancer Society.
We often equate being nice to ourselves with buying things, but there are many ways to treat yourself without spending money, for example, check-out books from the library, rent a funny movie, feed ducks at the lake, ask your sweetie for a massage, or take a hot bath. And if you need to sleep ten hours a night, give yourself the permission to do it.
You may forget a dentist’s appointment or neglect to send Aunt Martha a birthday card. You may not feel like returning phone calls. It’s okay. People will understand.
No one knows what causes breast cancer. Don’t try to figure out why this happened to you. There are no answers, and it’s not your fault.
Just because your body may have changed, it doesn’t mean your sex life has to change too. Research shows that most women with early stage breast cancer are well-adjusted emotionally and can achieve sexual satisfaction just one year after surgery. While every relationship is different, being open and honest with your partner can help you regain your pre-cancer quality of life.
Look for books, journals, blogs or websites that can explain how to change your thought patterns, identify negative thoughts and replace them with constructive or realistic ones.
Accepting and learning to love yourself are critical to moving past your cancer experience. Many books and blogs can provide insight on how to feel whole again, and renew your hopes and plans for the future.
There are millions of women who are making this journey with you and millions of women who are already survivors. Today, you are a survivor, too.
